Sasuke's Birthday
by Mistlan
Summary: This is a one shot set in the Clarity in Konoha Universe. Clarity and Sasuke have their rounds and Sasuke ends up having a better B-day than he thought. I wanted to do a plucky hurt/comfort story without all the unneeded moping; what I got was a laugh.


I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun, and for once my character Murray actually plays a key role in this story.

**Word of Warning: **This story is not set in stone. It'll get rewritten again and again until all the bugs have been hammered out. I wrote this to be a plucky Hurt/Comfort story with a dash of humor. Now all I have to do is add in at least 30 cups of sappy. Sasuke doesn't do sappy but Clarity sure does.

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Sasuke's Birthday**

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Okay, so how does all this story start? Okay for one, when I first met Sasuke we made a stupid bet over an eating contest. None of us really won that one. I ate as little as possible and purposely watched Sasuke eat till he got sick. It's true, Sasuke never eats his weight in food yet he tried eating for three people. Yes everyone can guess what that was like. Sasuke decided to hold all that food down for days. Offer him a burrito he'd almost get sick. While training; he'd . . . almost . . . get sick. Heck he couldn't even stand straight without turning fifty shades of green and falling flat on his face like a bloated tick. In the end, the bet was a bust, I just couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore and Sasuke, well you get the idea, he was sick. In his case I never got in the way of his revenge (not getting in Naruto's way eithier; I'm rooting for Sasuke to come back to Konoha). In his case, he just crashed on my couch most weekends (which is actually every other day; amazing how one can abuse the power of a reverse summoning contract).

When I left the ninja continent, I thought I left it all behind. My new friends, ones I'm proud to say I actually considered family. My place in that part of the world. I'm an artist, yet I'm only in the bingo books as the first civilian artist ever to survive a ninja mission. The huge place that actually didn't shun me away, almost but not quite shunned me away and the two ninjas I consider little brothers. They consider each other rivals, an Uchiha and Uzumaki, always at each other's throats. Yet one wants to get revenge on his family killers, the other wants his best friend back, and lucky me, I got caught in the middle of it all. Yeah it was a stupid bet but one I wouldn't change for the world; these two are family to me. I thought I'd just put it all behind me. At least that was the plan until Sasuke decided to poof in here one day while I was washing paint trays.

PUFF

"Gyeeeek," I screamed, "SASUKE DON'T DO THAT!"

"Hn." Sasuke huffed, "Whatever."

Sasuke, as I've learned, is not Mr. Happy Talky. He's more of the anti-social bad boy with a metric ton chip on his shoulder. That's what he wants everyone to think he is. He still has a steady following of Fan Girls no matter where he goes, heck I get more female customers every time they see the "dark mysterious cool guy" in nothin' but his ninja pants in the mornings; free advertising and he always disappears like a cat that hates crowds (favorite hiding place, linen closet third shelf). He's as stubborn as heck whenever I tell him to mind his manners. We've actually gotten into a couple fights; fist fights even, but then again who doesn't fight anymore. In reality, I see him as a little brother who's only human just like anybody else.

Sasuke was about to go into his usual routine of raiding the fridge when he opened the door and paused. I'm certain he wasn't here yesterday when my business partner/best friend, Murray Monody and I had cleaned out the refridgerator. We took out everything of value, mainly Murray's canned Jabaneros and Ghost Chilies. We took out everything that was growing, such as last weeks take out food that was starting to mutate.

"Where's the food?" Sasuke demanded. Yup really with manners like that, it's a wonder he gets dogged by the ladies.

"Sasuke, how many times do I have to say this, if you're going to ask something, ask nicely, pennies and a puppy face does not really give you brownie points around here." I quipped, jokingly ribbing him in the shoulder.

"I don't care about how I ask, I want to know where my tomatoes are." Sasuke responded like some C.E.O. chiding a child.

"Okay Sasuke, you want to know _where _your tomatoes are?" I sang, to which he nodded yes and expectantly held out his hand.

"They're in the oven." Murray noted. Sasuke blew a gasket.

"I already-" he begun but not before I smacked him one with the sponge.

"Sasuke!" I snapped, "I know this is not exactly home but this is my roof and besides . . . Cut the act. Something has got your goat. What's the matter?"

"Nothing has my goat," Sasuke sighed plopping into an empty chair, "I don't even own a goat."

Murray went to looking at a calender, his bright cheery face unusually solemn. Sasuke sat the kitchen table, his head sunk betwixt his shoulders as low as possible. The only time I've ever seen Sasuke this snappy was at Orochimaru's old hideout near Suna. Heck he was biting my head off when we first met.

His eyes sparked red for just a split second before going blank. Only to be replaced with a gaze of iron; cold, hungry, and empty. The gears of my mind went whirling, what was so special about today? What made Sasuke unusually snappy today?

Murray suddenly flung himself into motion. He darted to the fridge. He ran to the pantry. He cavorted the drawers where we kept the lighters. Sasuke eyed him with disdained disinterest.

"Oh Happy Birthday Sasuke," Murray cheered, placing a small cherry tomato on the table with a single lit candle sticking out of it, "Don't crush the thing. I have a stash of tomatoes I save for my canning. Sasuke, make a wish."

Sasuke looked up at him like he lost his marbles.

"Murray what're you doing?" Sasuke asked, "What's with the candle?"

"Well, I always knew you scarfed a tomato on this certain day and you're always wishing happy birthday to yourself at three thirty in the afternoon on this certain day at that certain time. Three thirty was the time you found your family dead right?" Murray asked.

Sasuke froze, as if the ice in his veins wasn't molten enough. He clenched his fists together till his knuckles turned white. His eyes lightened and darkened at the words "Happy Birthday" and "Family Dead." I had to slap Murray upside the head. He sometimes has little tact for beatting around the bush. Sasuke already told about the night his parents died, he was late from school at the age of eight and the Uchiha Compound looked like an outdoor slaughter house. He still has nightmares to this day. Of course it would've helped if he wasn't so emotional about everything. He's doesn't show it but whenever something bothers him he gets real intense.

"I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT!" he snapped.

"Yup, I was right!" Murray whooped, "But not about the family massacre thing, just the birthday part."

His eyes stung, he squashed that tomato against his fist and ran out the swinging door. I got up and ran after him. Sasuke didn't know this town like I knew it. Worse, he ran off at night. He could arrested for escaping curfew at this time of night and if he were to get arrested he'd have been shipped to Juvenile Prison or a detention center, just for carrying his Kusanagi Sword. Heck he's one of the few people I know that can make a lie detector backfire, besides me. I didn't want it to come to that. Being emotionally scarred is one thing, being put in prison in a foreign country where possibly no one can bail you out is a scarier story.

"Sasuke," I yelled, "Sasuke come back!"

Too late, he was already running to the park, where all the cops are waiting.

"Don't worry," Murray rebutted giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, "Sasuke hasn't done his ninja poofy thingy and you can sense his chakra right? I'll hold down the fort. You do what you do best, okay Clarity?"

"Right," I answered giving his hand a squeeze back. Murray is my best friend for the simple reason of simple support, no strings attached, no bribes, pure honest support, and I'm thankful for finding a best friend like that. He's the one that always reminds of my survival talent dealing with places and people.

I grabbed my coat and ran. July rain came down in torrents blurring the streetlights giving it an opaque haze against the small town streets. I ran for three blocks before I stopped and face palmed. I forgot an umbrella. I ran back soaked to the bone grabbed my other coat, the spare coat we kept in the linen closet, and finally one umbrella. It was dry and all the better an excuse to force the Uchiha to stick close to me so I didn't have to see him run off again.

I made my way to the door before Murray flagged me down and handed me something else. It was a parcel with the words scratched out, "To Sasuke with Love."

"Have him open it when you get there," Murray instructed, "This is my very first and I wanted him to have it."

"Murray you're a life saver!" I cheered, " . . . wait . . . How did you know this would happen?"

"I didn't," Murray shrugged, "I just guessed. Call it a God moment. I'm just happy to help."

I bolted back out the door. I closed my eyes, focus on my own chakra (a little trick I picked up from a sensor type in Kiri), and let my consciousness sprawl out searching for Energy Spikes. Thankfully the cops were on the other side of town. They weren't in Sasuke's vicinity. They didn't have the kind of blazing Chakra like the ninjas I know. Sasuke's Chakra was dimming, shivering even like a candle going out.

"Gotcha," I whooped to myself, yet worry clawed at my insides, a shivering Chakra signature usually meant he was cold or worse . . . Dead. I don't need a dead Sasuke thank you, the bitter cranky, anti-social one is good enough. Especially when he's not so snappish. Even if he hates me right now I want to see him alive. I hate seeing dead ninjas.

On my part, I considered myself lucky. There sat Sasuke sulking on the park bench with his back to the world. His tired eyes closed, he shivered every once in a while suddenly not looking like a teenage little boy but an old man. Life on the run leaves one rough and worn. It's hard to find safety when you have to look over your shoulder and hope not to get killed. I remembered feeling that way when I lived Iraq and during the time when ten year olds started wielding guns. It's not a far cry from the catacombs of Kiri. Those were times I decided to never touch a weapon _ever_ again when I saw other people I barely knew die in kill zones. That's just my experiences, you're entitled to your opinion. I know this sounds unrelated but . . . well how can I empathize with others without walking a mile in their mocasins. Sasuke has been an orphan, I'm an orphan and I've walked at least fifty miles in his shoes. I know the reality of being alone.

Sasuke shivered, his chakra waning like the last embers of a campfire. He looked so lost at the moment. What with the rain and everything. Fatigue muzzles senses and a surprised Ninja equals a dead lady. I was in no mood to get a Chidori to the gut. I walked around and called out softly to let my presence be known. I barely ran my fingers along his sharp pale shoulder, directly in his peripheral vision.

"Sasuke," I murmured, low and sweet slowly moving to his side of the bench and kneeling down at eye level, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry," Sasuke growled his voice low and harsh, "Sorry? Sorry for what? Insulting my way of life? What're you going to do throw it in my face?"

"I was a jerk today," I paused before talking making sure he heard me loud and clear. "You know as an orphan, I saw so, so many children even younger than you were that had lost their moms and dads. I never thought about the other's person's feelings. All I knew was that it was just another sob story. Once I heard one sob story I heard them all."

"W-well," Sasuke choked, he hated showing weakness, especially shivering, he was thankful that with the water on his face you couldn't tell the tears on his face from the rain, his eyes looked bloodshot, a teensy red and dry. "You never h . . . h-heard mine. I've been celebrating my birthday alone for the past nine years. The only thing I want for my birthday is the heads of my clan's murderers served shishkabobbed on a silver platter."

My hands squeezed Murray's parcel, it wasn't much; just wrapped in cheap butcher paper that was stamped all over with a potato stamp. It was Murray's testament to the arts; in particular, his love of crafts. Unlike me, who had a college degree, flawed resume, and a love of throwing things. I know the parcel felt way more of a powerful item to me than some faulty sob story.

'_Clarity you idiot, listen to yourself, you sound like an Oxymoron! No chance left untaken and no regrets!'_ my inner self yelled loud and clear, '_Sasuke is a precious person. NOW SHOW IT!'_

"Sasuke wait," I said, grabbing his hand only to have Sasuke yank that hand away. He was already storming off again. Great job Clarity, play the pity card. You might as well paint loser on your forehead.

"Just leave me alone." Sasuke growled, "This has been the worst birthday of my life and I plan to end it by beating up some hapless vic- I- mean-spar . . . Ing. Rrrrr, YOU HARPY WITCH!"

*K-TONG*

I yanked up the nearest thing I could find, which happened to be Murray's parcel and chucked it at his face. He grabbed the parcel in mid-air but not before landing in the mud. He glowered at me with all his might. I stood over him barely on my toes, hanging the umbrella over him. There was no point in hiding it now. Sasuke Uchiha, the I'm-going-to-get-my-revenge Sasuke Uchiha, had been crying. His face already showing some evidence of coon eyes, redness and sobbing. He looked hard at me for oh five seconds until I swung the coat on shaky, soaked frame.

"Clarity what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke griped and scowled.

"Oh just hush," I soothed, "I came here to wish you Happy Birthday not Happy Grumpies Day. Just open your present, Murray made it himself and believe me when a craftsman makes something, you won't find another like it anywhere else."

Sasuke ripped open the parcel and gasped when some long bluish black thing came pouring out. I grabbed the other end before it hit the dirt and laughed.

"Hey Sasuke I think I found what hit you in the face," I giggled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes stifling a moan, "Clarity it's five inches wide, blue to the point of black, and a yard long. You'd have to be a Dobe to miss it."

"Yeah yeah, Squirt," I rebutted, "I wasn't talking about that I was talking about this." I held up the part of the thing that had a honking huge button at the end, that sparked cadmium red, neon orange, and cobalt blue in the hazy street lights. It had the same shape as the faint bruise on Sasuke's forehead "This is thick blown glass, hard as diamonds set in stone."

Sasuke still couldn't tell heads or tales what the "thing" was even if the tag Murray sewn in there said machine washable: wear with love. His side was five inches wide. My side was a foot wide. I grasped at it. Rabbit's wool, and Lama; some of the hottest stuff on earth(not good for full body suits, ask Kankuro he actually walked around the desert in one). Sasuke hid the umbrella over his face, and huddled close to me for body heat. I still know he won't blurt out the obvious like say "What's this?" or "Why the heck would Murray knit a winter item in the middle of July?"

"It's just a scarf," I answered Sasuke's unanswered question when I wrapped the thing around his neck. It was long enough to get wrapped around several times and thick enough that it came right up to Sasuke's nose; button end hanging down in front, "Hey, I didn't know Murray took up knitting either."

Sasuke adjusted the scarf. Little bitty sparks filled the air as little wisps of wild bangs stood up on end from Static Cling. He looked silly. He looked like he had a fight with the dryer and lost. At least that's what it looked like from the nose up. Nose down he looked like a water dog in traction.

"Lemme guess," I stated, pausing for a breathe racking my mind for which Chidori technique he was using now, "Chidori Senbon?"

"Chidori Nagashi," corrected Sasuke his eyes glittering happily obviously he liked his present, "Murray did a good job knitting this thing, durable, good conductor, and makes for a suttle throwing weapon. That one weapon off of "World's Deadliest Warrior" seems promising to kill people at 93 mph.(AN: Think slingshot of the gladiators; slingshot off of veggietales; slingshot David used to kill Goliath) Hmm . . . maybe I could make this like that slingshot, a Chidori Pachinko(1) or better yet Chidori Ishiyumi(2). I'd love to see the damage this "scarf" can do."

I sweat dropped, yup Sasuke was feeling better. He was already finding new ways to train .I.E. hurt people with everyday objects. We were already walking for about ten minutes. Sasuke's eyes shining with unusual giddiness at the imagined results of his "Chidori Pachinko" burning a hole square between its victim's eyes. How someone could imagine turning a hand knit scarf into an electrified slingshot of death is beyond me.

GRRROOWWWL

Of course, the complaining of Sasuke's empty stomach did not go unnoticed. He pulled the scarf further up over his nose to hide his blush. It didn't hide his rumbling tummy however. Heck the last time Sasuke's stomach was that loud was when he decided to do food deprivation training in the basement of the shop. People were wondering where I was keeping a puppy. Little kids ran off screaming once they saw the red eyed growl-y bear downstairs.

"Gee Sasuke does dinner sound good about now?" I asked grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"It sounds decent," Sasuke answered which translated to his bad boy answer of yes-I'm-starved, "As long as Murray isn't cooking."

"Sasuke Murray holds down the fort. I'm the one that cooks." I chattered.

"Does that include the takeout?" Sasuke interjected.

"Only if Murray cooks." I rebutted, satisfied that Sasuke wasn't so unhappy anymore. His eyes held that childlike dazzle, the kind of dazzle they only have when he ever truly smiles.

"C'mon, we did stuffed tomatoes today, with some garlic bread and Katsuboshi Salad no wait not Katsuboshi, what word was I trying to use again?" I rambled, walking through that door. Sasuke stood stalk still as if I just committed a horrendous crime.

"That's not the way you prepare tuna fish," Sasuke darkly jibed, to him the proper way to prepare tunafish is stuffed into a riceball. Any other way and you're breaking at least every known law in his emotionally stunted universe.

"It's canned tuna," I remarked, "That's the american equivalent of Katsuboshi except it's canned, wet, and has this little happy dolphin icon that means "No dolphin died in our fishing net, we're environmentally friendly" and it's really simple, just a bit of mayonaise, honey, pickle relish, and a taste of mustard means something fit for a sandwich. Throw in some multi-colored pasta and bada-bing bada-boom Tuna Salad. The stuffed tomatoes was a recipe I found somewhere around Italy, vegan dish, but hey vegan dishes aren't half bad when slathered in butter with a little meat on the side. Besides I think there's a little instant rice somewhere if you wanted to do I dunno Onigiri or something."

"You have the weirdest taste in food," Sasuke snorted "When do you ever eat anything normal?"

"hmm . . . I dunno," I answered, "When have you ever tried something new just for fun without hurting yourself?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something but shut it deep in thought. The last four times he's been here have cost twenty dollars worth of gauze, thirty dollars worth of medical tape, ten dollars worth of peroxide and one scary procedure removing crushed glass from you don't want to know where! I get the shivers just thinking about it. The other three times he poofed in here he was limping with questionable substances stuck to his torso. The last time he tried using Chidori to grill a sandwich, he blew up my kitchen and burnt himself . . . Very badly. So he only had one way to answer that question.

"I'm going to take a shower."

Sasuke turned on his heel and went straight to the bathroom deciding a change of subject was in order as well as washing off the mud. As soon as he was able to peel off the spare coat and his muddy clothes he noticed something was wrong. His scarf was stuck. Chidori is a Lightning release jutsu. Lightning is static electricity and Sasuke just found out the hard way what happens when you throw a sock into a dryer and basically, stuck his "Chidori Pachinko" to himself.

"Murray!" Sasuke yelled at the top of his lungs, I guess he didn't want me running in on him in *ahem* private moment, "Murray! Your scarf is stuck."

"What'd you do," Murray asked.

"Oh he just decided to turn your birthday present into an electrified slingshot of death." I mused. Now here is where most people would've cried. Murray on the other hand looked happier than a kid in a candy shop.

"Yay!" Murray cheered, "I'll get the ice water!"

"Wait Murray I don't think that'd," I warned.

SPLASH

ZOT

Too late, Murray just slung a pitcher of water over Sasuke's head. I never heard such a loud gasp. Oh yeah, he used ice water. Murray walked out proudly with the de-electrofied scarf. He grinned like a madman at a job well done. At least the scarf is machine washable otherwise it wouldn't have survived short circuiting its owner.

"That's . . . just . . . cold," Sasuke hissed, like I told you the whole bad boy with a metric ton chip on his shoulder is just an act, sort of. He at least his has moments of being normal at least.

Dinner was a hoot indeed. I mean there was laughter. There were a few debates switched left and right over what to call Sasuke's new move. Murray just sat back, I mean all the names did mean Chidori Slingshot in English. Until Murray noticed the single candle that laid forlorn without something to stick up out of. Murray took up the candle and twiddled his thumbs. They didn't have a cupcake to stick it in and Murray knew Sasuke loathed anything extra rich or sweet. Of course Sasuke still loved Tomatoes. There was one stuffed Tomato left.

"Here Sasuke," Murray stated, he put the little lit candle on the tomato that was still left forgotten on his plate, "I know we're not rich like your family is or . . . Was, but you still have a home with us."

"Murray's right," I chimed in, "Revenge is a dish served cold but love is a dish served warm. You're family to us Sasuke. Never forget that."

Tears threatened to fall and where no rain could hide them. He balled his fist and wiped his eyes right fast reminding himself he was an Uchiha and Uchihas don't cry. Ah heck, the least he did decide to do was wish for something better. A blow of the candle. Hugs all around and maybe just maybe in his heart. This birthday turned out to be the best birthday he ever had in a long . . . Long time.

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**(1) Pachinko**- Japanese for slingshot; also a Japanese word for a slot machine. Tsunade loves to play these things.

**(2)Ishiyumi**- Japanese for slingshot; also means crossbow.

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